I’ve never really liked America. Actually, it’s Americans that I’ve never liked. I’ve got nothing against the earth that makes up the country. I’m sure it’s very nice earth, and no better or worse than that which makes up England, or even Europe.

Having said that, I’ve never met an American that I didn’t like. Often, greatly so. This tends to make my dislike seem irrational and unfounded. At least, so I thought, until I met someone who told me an interesting fact. Less than 10% of Americans have passports. (It was an American who told me this, really nice guy.) This explains a great deal, and I’ve qualified my dislike somewhat. Now I only dislike Americans who stay there, not those who travel to other places.

Logically there must be some rational reason why I feel like this, other than my innate reaction to their having kicked us out a couple of hundred years ago. So, also logically, I thought I’d make a list of pros and cons. Results below (it’s unfinished… I’m sure I’ll think of other things to add to both sides at a later date.)

Pro Con
They elected President Kennedy They elected Presidents Reagan AND Bush (twice)
The West Wing Dallas, Dynasty
They helped us in WWI They turned up late, and think they won it. They didn’t
They helped us in WWII They turned up late (again!), and think they won it. (They probably did, but they also rewrite history to support this)
They put a man on the moon They drive on the wrong side of the road
They separate Church and State They allow evangelical christians an AWFUL lot of influence
They stand for freedom of choice But only as long as this agrees with THEIR choice
They will NOT advocate regime change Unless all their other arguments fail
They are tireless soldiers in the War Against Terror They think the war started on 9/11
They have a Constitution guaranteeing personal freedoms They think everyone else should have the SAME constitution
Photo of 'M*A*S*H' M*A*S*H; Soap Married…With Children Photo of 'Married ... With Children'
Silicon Valley Creationism
Disneyland, California Disneyland, Paris
They are now the world’s only Superpower They only fight from far away, so as not to get hurt
They say ‘Have a nice day’, and mean it They say ‘Have a nice day’, and mean it

Hmmm … seems about even. Except that they inflicted a President Bush on us TWICE. I suspect the second one was only to make the first one look ‘okay’.   …   On the whole, I think I’ll carry on disliking most of them in theory, and liking the ones I actually meet in practice.

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