In short: I agree to do my best to do the things I say I'll do. You agree not to do anything you shouldn't.
For things I'm happy for you to use, there's asking nicely. For everything else, there's a policy.
I wasn't there. Or if I was, I didn't do it. Or if I did, I didn't mean to. Or if I did, I won't do it again. Honest.
I won't spam you. Or give, rent or sell your email address to anyone else. And I won't hack your phone messages.