Humph was chairman for a total of three hundred and seventy-two shows. That was every show except six in the first series, where he alternated the role with Barry Cryer, till the end of series fifty. Originally enthusiastic, over the years he came to portray someone who would rather be doing anything else than chairing the show. His comments in this persona were as funny as that of the ‘professionals’.

Series 49 Show 06

"And with that, ladies and gentlemen it's the end of the show, and indeed the end of this series. And what a marvellous time I've had … reading that previous sentence. "

Series 49 Show 05

"… as the goldfish of time swims round the bowl of fate, before being flushed round the u-bend of eternity … "

Series 49 Show 04

"But first, I have to advise any listeners who may want information about the programme or wish to post comments on the message board, they can go to www.dontyouhaveanyfriendsatall.com where there's a list of councillors who may be able to assist. "

Series 49 Show 03

"… as the florist of time takes a daffodil out of her vase, and the greengrocer of fate takes a leek out of his window … "

Series 49 Show 02

"… as the ink cartridge of time is rammed into the printer of destiny, and the printer finds he can't sit down … "

Series 49 Show 01

"… as the cyclist of time jumps the red light of fate, and the brothel-keeper of doom throws his bike out after him … "