Funny s-t-u-f-f

“They compare Steve McManaman to Steve Heighway and he’s nothing like him, but I can see why – it’s because he’s a bit different.”  Kevin Keegan Colemanballs

“If you were in the Brondby dressing room right now, which of the Liverpool players would you be looking at?”  Ray Stubbs 

“I’ve had 14 bookings this season, 8 of which were my fault, but 7 of which were disputable.”  Paul Gascoigne

Crime Watch Monthly

Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn’t control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words, “Give me all your money or I’ll shoot,” the man shouted, “that’s not what I said!”

An Illinois man pretending to have a gun kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines. The kidnapper then proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts. … More

Gender Differences

Sex: Women prefer 30-40 minutes of foreplay. Men prefer 30-40 seconds of foreplay. Men believe that driving back to her place is part of the foreplay

The Phone: Men see the telephone as a communication tool. They use the telephone to send short messages to other people. A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, will call the same friend and talk for three hours. … More