This is, allegedly, the transcript of a radio conversation between a US naval ship and the Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. I don’t know whether it’s true or not but I so want it to be.
| Americans: | Please divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid collision. |
| Canadians: | Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the south to avoid collision. |
| Americans: | This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course. |
| Canadians: | No, I say again, you divert YOUR course. |
| Americans: | THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES’ ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, THAT’S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP. |
| Canadians: | This is a lighthouse. Your call. |