Recorded on Sunday, the 11th of May 2003 at the Civic Theatre in Darlington and first broadcast on Monday, the 26th of May 2003. (Repeated on the 1st of June.)
Chair: Humphrey Lyttelton Pianist: Colin Sell Scorer: Samantha Producer: Jon Naismith Programme Consultant: Iain Pattinson


Barry Cryer and Graeme Garden   -v-   Tim Brooke-Taylor and Tony Hawks

Humphrey Lyttelton "Darlington's history since 1825 is, of course, synonymous with the railway when the scheme to run a line from Darlington to Stockton was hatched by local businessman Edward Pease. … Within weeks six hundred passengers were catching the train to Stockton every day until after two months the town was completely deserted."
Round 1: Historical Headlines   The 100 Years War | The Great Pyramid of Cheops is built in Giza in Egypt
Humphrey Lyttelton "An old favourite it may be, but it never seems to match the popularity of the round called Stuff this, let's just go home."
Graeme Garden (The 100 Years War) The Independent: "WMD Weapons Inspectors Request More Time"


Round 2: One Song to the Tune of Another
Barry Cryer Copacabana  to the tune of The Skye Boat Song Tim Brooke-Taylor Firestarter  to the tune of I Could Have Danced All Night
Graeme Garden The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face  to the tune of The Dambusters March Tony Hawks Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds  to the tune of A Policeman's Lot Is Not A Happy One


Round 3: Radio Product Placement
Humphrey Lyttelton "I know I'm not alone in finding a lot of modern advertising misleading. Only the other day I spotted an advert for Millets which said they had really good camouflage jackets so I went straight down there … and couldn't find them."
Tim Brooke-Taylor Tony Hawks Neighbours Barry Cryer Graeme Garden The Archers


Round 4: Hunt The Ring
Humphrey Lyttelton "… The object was then to guess which player was concealing the ring with their hand or, if there was only one player, then which hand. Although in all honesty, that was never much of a challenge with cousin Nelson."


Round 5: Join The Dots
humphrey-lyttelton "So that's what we think, Humph ... but we have another theory in case it's wrong." Humphrey Lyttelton "In that case, it's right."


Round 6: Film Club   Women Only Film Club
Tim Brooke-Taylor "Those Magnificent Men And Their Washing Machines" Tony Hawks "Born On The 4th Of July, But Not Saying Which Year" Graeme Garden "Skirt Of The Antarctic"


Humphrey Lyttelton " … as the three-toed sloth of time dozes in the rainforest of eternity, and the three toads decide to make good their escape …"