Recorded on Tuesday, the 18th of October 2005 at the Brighton Dome and first broadcast on Monday, the 28th of November 2005. (Repeated on the 4th of December.)
Chair: Humphrey Lyttelton Pianist: Colin Sell Scorer: Samantha Producer: Jon Naismith Programme Consultant: Iain Pattinson


Barry Cryer and Graeme Garden   -v-   Tim Brooke-Taylor and Jack Dee

Humphrey Lyttelton "We are in fact guests of the Brighton Comedy Festival to which we've been invited, to bring something a little different. … Joseph Taylor, writing in 1770, believed that the earliest settlement here was occupied by the druids who worshiped oak trees and virgins. And indeed there are still many oak trees in this area."
Round 1: Down The Pan Alley
Barry Cryer "Midnight Cowpat" Jack Dee "The Cattle Of Britain" Tim Brooke-Taylor "Leaving Private Ryan Exactly Where He Is" Graeme Garden "A Tale Of Two Settees"


Round 2: One Song to the Tune of Another
Barry Cryer Orville's Song  to the tune of Cwm Rhondda Graeme Garden Bridge Over Troubled Water  to the tune of Bring Me Sunshine
Tim Brooke-Taylor Sexual Healing  to the tune of When I'm Sixty-Four Jack Dee Goldfinger  to the tune of Postman Pat


Round 3: Word For Word
Examples are a regular feature of this round "For example if the word horses was followed by courses, that would be disallowed as they can combine to make horses for courses which is a well-known French restaurant."


Round 4: Incomplete   Public Information Broadcasts
eg "A pretty girl, pretty drunk …" Tim Brooke-Taylor "… so you're pretty much on to a winner then."
tim-brooke-taylor "Doctor White Rabbit says …" Graeme Garden "… bloody brown rabbits, coming over here …"


Round 5: 84 Chicken Cross Road
Barry Cryer Graeme Garden Thomas Crapper Jack Dee Tim Brooke-Taylor Queen Victoria


Round 6: Song Book   Cheesemongers' Song Book
Graeme Garden "Dairy Lea We Roll Along" Tim Brooke-Taylor "Cheese Release Me" Jack Dee "Madam Butter" Barry Cryer "Simon Smith And His Amazing Camembert"


Humphrey Lyttelton " … as the lemmings of fate run over the crumbling cliff of eternity, and the Shadows try to shoo them off …"