Recorded on Sunday, the 18th of December 2005 at the Harrogate International Centre and first broadcast on Monday, the 19th of December 2005. (Repeated on the 25th of December.)
Chair: Humphrey Lyttelton Pianist: Colin Sell Scorer: Samantha Producer: Jon Naismith Programme Consultant: Iain Pattinson


Barry Cryer and Graeme Garden   -v-   Tim Brooke-Taylor and Sandi Toksvig

Humphrey Lyttelton "The town has a significant American population who staff the top secret monitoring station at Menwith Hill. This has resulted in Harrogate's unusual traffic system where the Americans drive on the right, the British drive on the left, and the 4x4s drive anywhere they bloody well like."
Round 1: Uxbridge English Dictionary
Tim Brooke-Taylor "Quest : A Jonathan Ross coat of arms" Sandi Toksvig "Extractor fan : A former lover of agricultural equipment"
Graeme Garden "Laplander : A clumsy private dancer" Barry Cryer "Flemish : Rather like snot"


Round 2: One Song to the Tune of Another
Barry Cryer On Ilkley Moor Baht 'At  to the tune of Delilah Sandi Toksvig Ain't No Sunshine  to the tune of God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen
Tim Brooke-Taylor Bananas In Pyjamas  to the tune of Chorus of the Hebrew Slaves Graeme Garden Me & Mrs Jones  to the tune of Who Do You Think You Are Kidding, Mr Hitler?


Round 3: Real Ku
Humphrey Lyttelton "I can't help noticing the current popularity of a game called Pseudo-Ku … though my God, I've tried. This is the game found in the national dailies where you have to fill in a grid with all the numbers from 1 to 9, except in the Guardian where you fill in the numbers from 1 to f."


Round 4: I-Spy   Ay-Oop Spy
Sandi Toksvig "The thing is, that I have to explain to you, is that I'm Danish. I have no idea why this is funny."


Round 5: Notes & Queries
Humphrey Lyttelton "But before we start I have to correct some misunderstandings which crept in the last time we did this. The item about the best way to deworm a Yorkshire terrier: We advised that there is no need to pay a vet to insert the tablets as you can easily use the blunt end of a biro tube to push them up yourself. We have to apologise to Mrs. Griffiths of Orpington. Hope she's now sitting more comfortably."


Round 6: Song Book   Naturists' Song Book
Barry Cryer "I Can See Clearly Now … You're Jewish" Sandi Toksvig "Eine Kleine Naked Music" Tim Brooke-Taylor "Blue Moon" Graeme Garden "Genital On My Mind"


Humphrey Lyttelton " … as the binge drinkers of time stagger from the pub of eternity, before taking the controls of the jumbo jet of destiny …"