Recorded on Tuesday, the 16th of October 2007 at the Fairfield Halls in Croydon and first broadcast on Monday, the 19th of November 2007. (Repeated on the 26th of November.)
Chair: Humphrey Lyttelton Pianist: Colin Sell Scorer: Samantha Producer: Jon Naismith Programme Consultant: Iain Pattinson


Barry Cryer and Graeme Garden   -v-   Tim Brooke-Taylor and Rob Brydon

Humphrey Lyttelton "Still preserved in the centre of Croydon are the famous Elizabethan Whitgift alms houses. When they were opened in 1599 the mayor proclaimed there was free food and shelter, and invited the town's poor, needy, and impotent. Well, the poor and the needy arrived … but the impotent couldn't come."
Round 1: Uxbridge English Dictionary
Examples are a regular feature of this round "As an example, there are those who have no concept of the technical difference between the terms girder and rafter. In fact, the term rafter is used by structural engineers to denote a supporting beam whose cross-sectional ratio is calculated as span over two plus two. Whereas girder was some old kraut who wrote Faust."
Tim Brooke-Taylor "Giggle :  A very small musical event" Barry Cryer "Melancholy :  Fruit and veg."
Rob Brydon "Curator : Someone who assesses snooker equipment" Graeme Garden "Pigsticking : Clockwork pork"


Round 2: Pick-up Song
Graeme Garden Sylvia's Mother Barry Cryer Girl From Ipanema Tim Brooke-Taylor Stayin' Alive Rob Brydon Danny Boy


Round 3: Sound Charades
Rob Brydon Tim Brooke-Taylor The Bourne Ultimatum Barry Cryer Graeme Garden 3-10 To Umah
Humphrey Lyttelton "Well ... it doesn't get any better than that. Never mind."


Round 4: Word For Word
humphrey-lyttelton "Velvet""Boater" Graeme Garden "Tim arrived this evening wearing a velvet boater."
Humphrey Lyttelton "We've got to end this game, which is a pity for me because these little lights going on and off is the only excitement …"


Round 5: Handy Hints   Household Problems
humphrey-lyttelton "Can you suggest a good way to pick up tiny pieces of glass from the floor
  without cutting myself?"
Rob Brydon "Yes, ask the children to do it."
rob-brydon "I often get unsightly bags under my eyes. Is there anything I can do about this?" Tim Brooke-Taylor "Yes, check them in with Ryanair
 because then you'll never see them again."


Round 6: Swanee-Kazoo
Rob Brydon Tim Brooke-Taylor Gilly Gilly Ossenfeffer Katzenellen Bogen By The Sea Barry Cryer Graeme Garden A Windmill In Old Amsterdam


Round 7: Film Club   Bartenders' Film Club
Graeme Garden "Tequila Mocking Bird" Tim Brooke-Taylor "Schindler's Pissed" Rob Brydon "Time Bandits, Please" Barry Cryer "Bringing Up Babycham"


Humphrey Lyttelton "… as the playful puppy of time bounds after the toilet tissue of destiny, and the handle of fate flushes him round the u-bend of doom.."