Recorded on Thursday, the 30th of June 2011 at the Grassington Festival in Grassington and first broadcast on Monday, the 25th of July 2011. (Repeated on the 31st of July.)
Chair: Jack Dee Pianist: Colin Sell Scorer: Samantha Producer: Jon Naismith Programme Consultant: Iain Pattinson


Barry Cryer and Graeme Garden   -v-   Tim Brooke-Taylor and Jeremy Hardy

Jack Dee "The village of Grassington is in Wharfdale, which was once famous for lead mining. It was the quality of Wharfdale lead which made possible the production of powerful car batteries and put British motor manufacturing where it is today … in a warehouse near Shanghai."
Round 1: Cost-Cutters
Tim Brooke-Taylor "Seven Brides For Seven Quid" Barry Cryer "The Burger King & I" Jeremy Hardy "Lidl House on the Prarie" Graeme Garden "Not Bothering To Look For Nemo"


Round 2: One Song to the Tune of Another
Tim Brooke-Taylor Short People  to the tune of Habanera from Carmen Barry Cryer Girlfriend In A Coma  to the tune of On Ilkley Moor Baht 'At
Jeremy Hardy Theme from Spiderman  to the tune of Brahms' Lullaby Graeme Garden Horny  to the tune of Blowing In The Wind
Jack Dee "Well, you can take the man out of Yorkshire … and we promise we will, right after the show."


Round 3: Word For Word
jack-dee "What's going on?" Jack Dee "I just don't care."


Round 4: Opportunity Knocks   Grassington's Got Talent
Jack Dee "Well, phone lines are now open, and do remember, if you're not the bill-payer calls are effectively free, so why not ring your mates as well?"
Barry Cryer Graeme Garden Digesto, The Human Dustbin Jeremy Hardy Tim Brooke-Taylor The Great Escapo


Round 5: Continuity Announcements
Tim Brooke-Taylor "9 o'clock tonight on Channel 5, twenty-nine year old Heather Wilson has to decide how to spend her hard earned money. Is it to be a holiday in Monaco or the breast enhancement she always promised herself, in Montecarlo Or Bust."


Round 6: 84 Chicken Cross Road
Barry Cryer Graeme Garden James I Jeremy Hardy Tim Brooke-Taylor Guy Fawkes


Round 7: Swanee-Kazoo
Jeremy Hardy Tim Brooke-Taylor The Blue Danube Barry Cryer Graeme Garden The William Tell Overture


Round 8: Song Book   Anatomists' Song Book
Barry Cryer "Ob-La-Di, O-Bladder" Graeme Garden "Cry Me A Liver" Tim Brooke-Taylor "Don't Put Aeorta On The Stage, Mrs Worthington" Jeremy Hardy "The Lung And Winding Road"


Jack Dee " … as the actress of time said to the bishop of fate, 'hello Mr. Sentamu, my name's Judie Dench. Blimey that's a big one … where'd you get a hat like that?' …"