Recorded on Wednesday, the 10th of October 2012 at the Grove Theatre in Dunstable and first broadcast on Monday, the 19th of November 2012. (Repeated on the 25th of November.)
Chair: Jack Dee Pianist: Colin Sell Scorer: Samantha Producer: Jon Naismith Programme Consultant: Iain Pattinson


Barry Cryer and Graeme Garden   -v-   Tim Brooke-Taylor and Tony Hawks

Jack Dee "The Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents is based here. RoSPA was founded by two local men who got together to improve safety in the home and workplace and discovered they got on like a house on fire. RoSPA produced that classic poster showing how, if you open your car door quickly, you can put a cyclist over the handlebars. Another good way is to shove a broom handle through his front wheel."
Round 1: Uxbridge English Dictionary
Examples are a regular feature of this round "… many people don't know the difference between atmosphere and ambiance. Well, an atmosphere refers to a mood or tone of prevailing emotional attitude, especially one associated with a specific place or time, whereas an ambiance is what takes Barry Cryer back to his home after the show.
Tim Brooke-Taylor "Tinker : Thoughtful Irishman" Barry Cryer "Collier : Like a collie, but more so"
Graeme Garden "Himalayas : Hermaphrodite chickens" Tony Hawks "Niceties : Pleasant sofas"


Round 2: Pick-up Song
A prize for being within a gnats crotchet when the music returns is traditional "This week's prize would delight any mobster who gets a little peckish cruising da hood - it's this Gangster's cornish pastie."
Graeme Garden Lola Tim Brooke-Taylor Baby Tony Hawks Gangnam Style Barry Cryer The Mighty Quinn


Round 3: Sound Charades
Tim Brooke-Taylor Tony Hawks The Million Pound Drop Barry Cryer Graeme Garden Flog It Tim Brooke-Taylor Tony Hawks Pick of the Week Barry Cryer Graeme Garden All About Eve


Round 4: Mornington Crescent   Standard Olympic Rules
Letters from Mrs Trellis of North Wales are a regular feature of this round Dear Sir or Madam, Have you had that operation yet? Yours sincerely, Mrs. Trellis (N. Wales)


Round 5: Advertising Slogans
Jack Dee "Although we know him now as a script-writer to the stars, Barry Cryer's first job was in an advertising agency where he cut his teeth banging away at an old typewriter. Then someone told him you type with your fingers."
jack-dee "Keep Walking" Tim Brooke-Taylor "Virgin Trains"
tim-brooke-taylor "You'll wonder where the yellow went" Barry Cryer "Armitage Shanks"
barry-cryer "Bet you can't eat three" Graeme Garden "The Korean Kennel Club"
graeme-garden "P-p-p-pick up a penguin" Tony Hawks "The George VI zoo"


Jack Dee " … as the trawlerman of time hauls on the fish nets of fate, and the first mate tells him how good his legs look in them …"