Recorded on Thursday, the 17th of October 2013 at the Playhouse Theatre in Weston-super-Mare and first broadcast on Monday, the 11th of November 2013. (Repeated on the 17th of November.)
Chair: Jack Dee Pianist: Colin Sell Scorer: Samantha Producer: Jon Naismith Programme Consultant: Iain Pattinson


Barry Cryer and Graeme Garden   -v-   Tim Brooke-Taylor and John Finnemore

Jack Dee "Weston-Super-Mere is located on the Bristol Channel with historic links across to Wales and is often described as the Istanbul of Somerset … because it has one foot in England and the other in 1957."
Round 1: Down The Pan Alley   Film titles made longer by adding one letter
Barry Cryer "The Lady Varnishs" Tim Brooke-Taylor "The Spy Who Loved Men" John Finnemore "Take The Monkey And Run" Graeme Garden "The Hunt For Fred October"


Round 2: One Song to the Tune of Another
Graeme Garden Sexual Healing  to the tune of The Blue Danube Tim Brooke-Taylor Walk On The Wild Side  to the tune of Danny Boy
John Finnemore I Will Survive  to the tune of I Do Like To Be Beside The Seaside Barry Cryer I Predict A Riot  to the tune of A Nightingale Sang In Berkeley Square


Round 3: Word For Word
Jack Dee " At times like this, you start to wonder at the wisdom of the winter fuel allowance, don't you?"


Round 4: Translating Foreign Phrases
Barry Cryer Graeme Garden Russian: At the airport | At the hotel | At the restaurant | At the hospital | At the casino | At the police station | At the prison
John Finnemore Tim Brooke-Taylor Thai: At the restaurant | At the club | At the bar | At the hotel


Round 5: Continuity Announcements
Graeme Garden "On Saturday at 2:30 we show highlights of the competition to find the world's finest bikini wax - that's the Brazilian Grand Prix on Saturday."


Round 6: 84 Chicken Cross Road
John Finnemore Tim Brooke-Taylor Queen Victoria Barry Cryer Graeme Garden Isambard Kingdom Brunel


Round 7: Song Book   Vegetarian Song Book
John Finnemore One For The Money, Tofu The Show Barry Cryer Take That Leek Off Your Face
Graeme Garden You Don't Get Me I'm Part Of The Onion Tim Brooke-Taylor Rocket Man


Jack Dee " … as the dove of peace alights in the garden of tranquility with the olive branch of friendship, and gets its head torn off by the tom-cat of destiny …"