Show eight in series thirty-one of The News Quiz was first broadcast on Saturday the 30th of April 1994.

"Trading Standards officials have stopped a new drink, 97.7 percent of which comes from cow from being called milk or having any dairy style name. Northern Dairies, which produces the drink, cannot even put a picture of a cow on the carton. Marketing manager Alex Robinson said, "We wanted to call it semi-skimmed milk but we were stopped by the milk marketing rules. They said we'd been misleading people that it came from a cow. In the end we replaced the picture of cows with a couple of churns. If they ask, we'll say the farmer keeps his potatoes in them"."
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