First broadcast on Friday the 2nd of May 2008. In the news: Boris Johnson wins London mayoral election Keyboards 'dirtier than a toilet' 
Chair:Sandi ToksvigReader:Harriet CassTeams:Sue PerkinsPhill Jupitus-v-Jeremy HardyFred MacAulayProducer:Ed Morrish
 
Writers:  with additional material by
Harriet Cass
A complaint has been made after an episode of Basil Brush featured a gypsy character, selling pegs and lucky heather, and a joke about a fortune teller stealing Basil's wallet. Joseph Jones, vice-chairman of the Southern England Romany Gypsy & Irish Traveller Network, said "To perpetuate this myth about travellers and gypsies is wrong. Attitudes like this belong twenty or thirty years ago. We are supposed to have moved on by now." Daily Telegraph
Round 1: Talk about the elections as if we didn't know the results Boris Johnson Brian Paddick elections
  Sandi Toksvig
"I voted for Dick Whittington, leader of the Panto Party. Any party whose election slogan is 'And still no sign of Dick' is alright with me."
Why is our house no longer the priciest in the street? house prices
Who tried to strike a blow against the oily profiteers? BP industrial unrest oil OPEC Shell
Who's been checking out claims of cashing in? shoplifting supermarkets
Harriet Cass
In the event of an attempted suicide the trust will employ all reasonably practicable measures to ensure a successful outcome. guidelines Nottingham University NHS Trust
Round 2: Who can't be counted upon for the correct results? Robert Mugabe
Who's been making another right royal flying visit … again? Prince William
Who suggests a spring clean to avoid a dirty qwerty? hygiene surveys
Harriet Cass
Channel 5: Zoo Days. An operation is performed on a mandrill and baby pandas emerge. TV listing Radio Times
Round 3: Who was banged up for his pretend bang? terrorism
Which footballer saw some unexpected tackles this week? Ronaldo de Lima sport
  Sandi Toksvig
"Why ARE people so fascinated by football? Honestly, anything you can train a dog to do should not be classed as a sport."

The cuttings the teams brought along:

Jeremy Hardy
Wolfgang Leander, 67, a free-diver, swims among tiger sharks at Aliwal Shoal off the coast of east Africa. The fearsome creatures, which can grow to almost fourteen foot, are considered to be one of the most dangerous sharks to humans. The Bolivian loves to be among them, despite having been bitten in the Bahamas several years ago. Daily Telegraph
Fred MacAulay
The poll question which said 'Who do you think will win the Pakistan election?' should actually have read 'How do you rate this year's Dubai Shopping Festival?' Gulf Times
Sue Perkins
A man who told police he'd been sexually assaulted by a wombat has failed to substantiate his claim in court. Not only did Arthur Craddock make up the wombat sex story but the New Zealander also insisted the trauma of the attack left him 'speaking Australian'. Earlier on the afternoon of February the 11th, he'd called police in Nelson, New Zealand, with a threat to 'smash the filth' if they came to his home that night. He told the operator, "I'll retract the rape complaint from the wombat because he's pulled out".
Phill Jupitus
A foul-mouthed parrot has taught two other birds to swear, to the annoyance of the owner of a wildlife sanctuary. Barney, a seven-year-old macaw, has been swearing so often in front of a pair of African greys, called Suzanne and Charlie, that they have picked up his language. Jeff, the owner of the Warwickshire Wildlife Sanctuary, said: "They just sit there swearing at each other now. It sounds lke a builder's yard." In 2005 Barney was placed in solitary confinement after he told the local mayor to *bleep* off. The Times
Result:Sue and Phill won with 14 points. Jeremy and Fred got 13.
Harriet Cass
Which 'C' hosts Radio 1's Breakfast Show? Quiz question on a Smarties packet