A man who told police he’d been sexually assaulted by a wombat has failed to substantiate his claim in court. Not only did Arthur Craddock make up the wombat sex story but the New Zealander also insisted the trauma of the attack left him ‘speaking Australian’. Earlier on the afternoon of February the 11th, he’d called police in Nelson, New Zealand, with a threat to ‘smash the filth’ if they came to his home that night. He told the operator, “I’ll retract the rape complaint from the wombat because he’s pulled out”.