Invest

Partially clothed

What three things would have to coincide to ruin your life in one week?

“1) All games consoles destroyed. 2) Britain bans cheese. 3) Being made to shower every day.”

“Both sides have scored a couple of goals, and both sides have conceded a couple of goals”

Peter Withe

Six foot boa constrictor. Free to a good home. Very friendly, good eater, likes children.

Pets section advert, Sheerness Times and Guardian

A next door neighbour’s car aerial, carefully folded, makes an ideal coat hanger in an emergency.